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Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Prayer for Hisbodidus - Likutay Tefilos 147


HH

Likutay Tifeeloas 147

Collection of Prayers #147

“From the straits I called Yu”h (-Hashem) He answered me in/with the expanse of Yu”h (Psalms 118:5).” “In my distress I call Hashem, and to my G-d I cry out, He will hear my call from His chamber, and my crying out before Him will enter His ears (Psalms 18:7).” “I called from my dire straits to Hashem, and He answered me, from the belly of Hell (-Scheol) I called out, You heard my call (Jonah 2:3).” “My calling is to Hashem, I call and He answers me from His holy mountain, sela/eternally (Psalms 3:7).” “My calling is to Hashem, I scream, [my calling is] to Hashem I entreat (Psalms 142:2).” Help me Merciful One so that they are unable to confuse me – the thoughts and the ideas which confuse and impede (me) from praying, and screaming, and arranging my prayer, and my entreaty, and my supplication before You at all times, and let not the pain and the destitution of body, and soul, and money, encumber me Heaven forbid from calling out to You, just, I should merit to call out and scream to You always, be what may be. Because You know how very hard and heavy it is upon me, every day and at all times, to open my mouth before You in prayer, and specifically when I want to express my words (-what is on my mind) before You, to the extent that usually I am unable to open my mouth to speak a word before You due to the abundant stress and heaviness, “Because day and night Your hand weighed down on me, my bodily fluid has regressed in the sweltering heat of the summer, sela (Psalms 32:4 – part of the Tikun Haklali).” And I have no rest from the predators of my soul at all times. And from the utter magnitude of the abundant hardships of the soul and the body, my mouth is shut and mute, and it is extremely difficult and heavy for me to open my mouth before You. And primarily because of infirmity which knocks me down and weakens my confidence at all times, because I know that I myself am at fault for all that is transpiring to me. However, You Merciful One have already made known to us that even still You desire our prayers, and want our entreaties, and listen, and hear, and heed the call of our conversing, and our groaning, and our sighing, as You alerted us many innumerous times, as it is written, “For He has not despised nor abhorred lowliness/calling out of the pauper, and has not hidden His countenance from him, and when he cries out to Him, He listens (Psalms 22:25).” Therefore I hereby cast down my plea before You[1], and spread out and outstretch my palms opposite Your very extremely abundant and wondrous mercies, and Your graciousness, and Your compassion, that You should be with me at all times and at every hour, and You should help me always so that I do not pay any attention to all types of confusions and ideas of this sort and kind, just, I should merit to strengthen (myself) at all times to begin to express my words (-what is on my mind) before You from the midst of the straits and the distress, and to fulfill, “And my mouth spoke when it was difficult for me (Psalms 66:14).” And I will strain, and tunnel, and push myself to always incline my thoughts and my heart to the truth, and to speak before You all that I can speak, some true word whatever (/however small) it is, even from the midst of the great hardship and the distress. And You with Your abundant mercies and kindnesses, give me expanse in the straits at all times, and augment my mouth [with supplications for all that my heart desires (Rashi)] and fulfill it (-all that I ask for).[2] And help me, and save me, and merit me, and open my mouth with great expanse to express, and to explain, and to converse all my words (-what is on my mind) before You with words of charm/eloquence, and appeasement, and full of entreaty, in such a way that You listen to my prayer and my entreaty, and Your mercies well up/prevail over me at all times, and draw me close to You and to Your Torah and to Your worship in truth.

And merit me to draw close to true tzadikim who the light of the revelation of their novel Torah is drawn from above to below; that above, their Torah is very broad and lofty and below it becomes much more narrow, in order to inoculate it into our hearts and our minds, to each one as it befits him. And distance me from those who upend the just/straight ways, whose Torah are from bottom up, that below they broaden it too much, and above it is very narrow.[3] And similarly with all the prayers, and entreaties, and supplications I should merit to begin from the straits and the confined, and You in Your mercies augment my mouth (-with words), and endow me with Your holy spirit (-ruach hakoadesh) from the Heavens, that I should merit to truly express all my words (-what is on my mind) before You as is Your good desire, and my words should be really sweet before You.

And help me, and save me at all times with all that I need to be saved, in such a way that I merit quickly to be truly as Your good desire. Because You alone know the labors of man and his struggles in this world every day, especially when he wants to approach holiness[4], to express his words (-what is on his mind) before You Merciful One, that many rise against him, with/his body and soul, physically/materialistically and spiritually, especially someone destitute like myself. “G-d, You know my fallacy, and my transgressions are not restricted from Your knowledge (Psalms 69:6).” “You know my sitting and my standing, from afar You sagaciously befriended me[5] (Psalms 139:2).” “Hashem, how abundant are my tormentors, many[/the greats] rise up against me (Psalms 3:2),” at all times. Have mercy on me, and strengthen and embolden me at all times to have trust in Your abundant kindnesses to call out to You always, be what may be. “Turn to me, and be gracious to me, give Your might to Your servant, and save the son of Your maidservant. Make of (-for) me a favorable sign (-that will make it apparent to everyone that You pardoned me), and my enemies will see (it) and they will be ashamed, because You Hashem helped me, and comforted me (Psalms 86:16-17),” amen and amen.


Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman! 



[1] Daniel 9:20.
[2] Based on Psalms 81:11.
[3] This is explained in Likutay Moharan 279.
[4] Literally, to approach the Sanctuary – see e.g. Numbers 8:19 in Sifsay Chuchumim this exact phrase.
[5] Alternately: from afar You understood my thoughts.

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