HH
5th of
Av, was really heavy, thought I'd have to lie half dead till after
Tisha Bu”av, so I opened up a book from R' Shimshon Ostropoler,
who's hillula was just a few days back and I had downloaded it then,
and I read an amazing pshat on ובני
ישראל יוצאים ביד רמה the medrash says
from here we learn that Pharoa made for them a PRIMA (pyramid?!?!?! -
the given translation is a mask, shield) from all mazikin (things
that harm), so he explains how in the world the medrash deduces this
from the verse, in his inimitable fashion revealing Divine Names and
numerical values etc.. see there. Bottom line, that even after
reading this amazing Torah I didn't gain the drive to get up. But as
I was stuck, contemplating do I go to the Arizal or is it better for
me to stay put, because obviously I need the rest etc., and who can
decide, even a tzaddik won't tell a person to have meseeras nefesh….
But B”H ultimately the holy petek stood up for me, and I said that
this is the Arizal, and it could be all this heaviness is just an
impediment to keep from him, and even if it isn't related, certainly
it is well worthy to get to the Arizal, and to have trust that this
will quash all the disturbances. So I slowly got on my feet and
started walking, without any real plan of how to get there, and as I
walked I got the determination that I'd pay whatever it costs with
money that I don't really have, and with that I got to the bus stop,
only to learn that the bus to Tsfas doesn't go from there. So I kept
walking almost aimlessly trusting in HY that I was walking to the
tzaddik, doing my part, and B”H I'd make it. On my lifeless walk I
was looking out for signs to Tzfas, and the first sign I see says
“PRIMA -→” and I got a little flush, and a new energy, still
kind of lethargic, but now I mamash knew that I was going out of the
dejection (mitzrai'im – confines, constraints) with a high hand,
with protection… B”H. NNNNM.
Eventually I got to
the main road, and very quickly got one ride from a guy who was
mamash thirsting to hear about Nanach, and then from an old man and
his daughter {in merit of the little Nanach sticker they had on the
dashboard…} who went so slow that one time on an incline the car
just stopped, completely, and as everyone waited for him, he took his
time to slowly decide to give a touch of gas, B”H.
In Tsfas where they
dropped me off Gavriel picked me up and brought me to the Arizal, and
gave me the new Likutay Nanach that we just printed, 1 copy for Y.E.
and another also sold, and 3 still for sale. At the Arizal B”H
there was great joy singing Nanach, and showing everyone for 100
shekel they can buy Likutay Nanach. One Charaidee actually asked
about it, and when I told him some amazing Nanach Torahs he gave me a
few shekel, and came back I think twice to give me more. B”H he
said it that way it is: If he had come only to hear from me about the
Petek it would have been very well worth it. B”H. NNNNM!
Going back B”H I
also got rides pretty quickly, and I had the guy drop me off at Rami
Levi so I can buy internet, even though it was slightly after closing
time, they were still busy with an arab family – the young boy was
looking at me with such intense hate B”H. A few days ago I called
up my own carrier asking for extra bandwidth because they were at
fault for my shortage, and as I explained this over and over again to
the girl on the line, who already knew everything I was telling her,
but now got to hear it with constant mention of Na Nach Nachma
Nachman MeUman and encouragement not to despair etc, never despair,
there is no despair! Until she eventually tells me – previously she
had mentioned her first name, but now after hearing so much Nanach
she was forced to tell me: agav (by the way- as an aside) my name is
“so and so Nachman”… Gevald! NNNNM! In the end the only
solution she had would cost 150 shekel. So now I got a ride all the
way to Rami Levi, and their solution costs 75 shekel, and they want
my decision very fast because they are past closing time and want to
get out of there. So looking desperately for a holy book to consult,
I realized why not go for the freshly printed Likutay Nanach, and
they are astounded what are you doing, and I tell them, I want to see
what Nanach has to advise, and they are incredulous. So they watch as
I open up the Likutay Nanach, and I see it is talking there about
Torah 6 of Likutay Moharan, and I see distinctly the concept of
“hamtain” waiting – so I tell them, the message I'm getting is
to hold off – B”H on Monday I'm back to full coverage, so I just
have to wait till after the nine days, when the machmeerim don't use
internet anyways (or maybe I'm confusing that with drugs). So one of
them says – without knowing or seeing – it also says “laasoas”
- to do, and I say, “Where?” So they take the holy book and look
and look and actually find the word there “laasoas!!!!” Now I'm
in a turmoil, and they are already into it. So I tell them it looks
to me to go after the “hamtain” and they are like, maybe you
should do it, like it says. And I tell them the message might be that
if you guys do teshuva I should do it, you guys have to come to Uman,
so one of them says he'll go to Thailand, and there was no talking
sense into him. Finally they say, you should do it, come back and do
it, now we are closing, come back and do it (that is what it says
there “laasoas teshuva….” - they of course didn't realize
this). They were thrilled by this little escapade they took pictures
of the page with my finger pointing to the words. So B”H by doing
the hamtain then and there, I was pushed into doing the complete
hamtain, and will probably be without internet until after Tisha
Bu'av.
On the way back from
Rami Levi, I decided a bus wasn't good enough, and trecked to the
road through a large field, where I decided to make a little feast in
honor of my newly published book, and it was then that I realized I
was mamash fulfilling “the King is in the Field!” which is now,
B”H. When I got to the road after a few minutes a guy stopped for
me saying that he wasn't going very far because he was turning in
right away, and it turned out that he was going mamash to a house
right above the holy tombs of Rabbi Akiva and Ramchal, and now B”H
he is that much closer to actually wearing a Nanach beanie.
Na Nach Nachma
Nachman MeUman!
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