Baby playing with fathers face

 HH

When we study the holy Torah and pray with kavana, even though we are still far from meriting to appreciate what we are doing, it is like a baby who plays with his father's face.

Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman

Prayer over Torah

HH

The Ramchal (in Adir Bamarom and in Ginzay Ramchal) revealed that the Torah is the aura of the radiance of the Sefiros, their garment, and from there the souls are rooted. Prayer on the other hand, Rabbainu revealed, is itself Divine!

The litvaks made a few mistakes, one, they seemingly seem to contend that the Torah is G-d Himself, and not just the aura as above. Two, it is therefore best to just hold on to the Torah because that way one is always attached to G-d and there is nothing higher than that, because prayer is just a means not an end and is secondary.

Prayer demands the leap of faith, because as long as one is attached to the Torah he will be attached to HY, and in some ways that is the most preferable as our Sages explained the prophets admonition - if only they would leave Me and take up the Torah its light would return them to be proper, however if one can make the jump, to let go of the lifeline and just pray, then he can achieve absolute unity with G-d. This is like mountain climbing where certain patches cannot be scaled slowly step by step, but demand momentum, to be able to leap from foothold to foothold. Ultimately one should be praying the Torah, to keep the Torah to realize the Torah to be the Torah, and that is the consummate unification of Hashem, the Torah, and the soul (it should be noted that the greatest secrets of the Torah are an aspect of prayer).

Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman! 

The Praises of Rabbi Nachman 8-10

HH

Shivchay Huran

8-10

8. And he related that all his learning came to him with great exertion, because at the beginning he studied mishnayos, and he didn't understand what he was learning, and he would cry copiously before Hashem Yisburach that He should enlighten his eyes. And he would cry and cry so much until he merited that he was able to learn mishnayos. And so too afterwards he learned other books and he also didn't understand, and he would cry and cry as well very copiously until he merited to understand them. And so too with the study of Zohar and Kisvay Hu-Ari o.b.m., he would also cry copiously until he merited to understand.

And he said: that at the beginning with every single book that he studied he did not understand and it was extremely difficult for him and he was unable to figure out the simple meaning of the context. And he had great suffering from this, and his learning was with great exertion, and even still he learned a very great deal. Because he would strengthen himself immensely, and he merited to everything through his prayers and his crying as mentioned above.

9. And he would fast very profusely, and many times he fasted from Shabbos to Shabbos, and all this was in his very youth before he was 20 years old. And sometimes he fasted twice from Shabbos to Shabbos continuously from one to the next. And even though he was a "yel-ed (-a child of) shaashoo-im (delight/spoiled) (Jeremiah 31:19)," and was raised pampered, and was an extremely delicate person, even still he did not have any mercy on himself whatsoever, and he fasted and mortified himself tremendously, and he fasted 18 ("chay") times from Shabbos to Shabbos in one year (-that is the maximum feasible amount, because there are days in the year which are forbidden to fast on).

10. However, his main devotion through which he merited what he merited, was just the abundant prayers, and the beseeching, and the supplications, and the conciliations, and the appeasements that he was very accustomed to pray and beseech before Him blessed He. And he would placate and appease Him blessed He with all types of beseeching and supplications that He should merit him with His Mercy to draw him close to His service blessed He. And fundamentally what availed him were the prayers that he prayed in Yiddish, for he would very often designate for himself someplace that he found where there were no people, and he would express his words before Hashem Yisburach in the vernacular, that is in Yiddish. And he would placate and appease Him blessed He, and supplicate and beseech before Him blessed He with many, many types of argumentation and reasonings that it was befitting for Him blessed He that He should draw him close to His service, and he would do this very extremely frequently, and he spent days and years at this.

He would also hide himself on top of his father's house under the roof, where there was the likeness of a room with partitions of reeds for storage of hay and fodder, and he would hide himself there and recite Psalms and he would scream silently to Hashem Yisburach that He should merit him to draw him close to Him blessed He.

And in general all the various supplications in the world that are found in any book that is available by us, absolutely everything, he did not leave any beseechment or supplication that he did not say many, many times, whether it be Psalms, or the book "Shaaray (gates of) Tzion (Zion), or the supplications printed in the large prayer books, or the other types of supplications and beseechings, and even the beseechings printed in Yiddish - all of them, he did not leave out from saying them, and he would frequently say all the beseeching which are printed after the maamudos for each day, and he would frequently say all the beseechings in their entirety of all the days in one time (t.n. since the prayers are specific to the day of the week it is my belief that Rabbi Nachman would have introduced the prayers of each day accordingly: On Sunday this is..., On Monday this is...).

He was also accustomed at times to say from Psalms just the verses which speak in beseeching and supplication and screaming to Hashem Yisburach, and he would say just these verses and not say the rest. And he would say all these verses from the whole book of Psalms in one time.

And aside from all of this, the main thing was what he would pray from himself, that is, what he was accustomed to speak from his heart before Hashem Yisburach in Yiddish, that he would pray and argue before Hashem Yisburach with many, many types of argumentation and beseeching and supplications that he would say from his mind and his heart as mentioned above that Hashem Yisburach should merit him to His service. And this was the fundamental which availed him to merit to what he merited, so we heard from his holy mouth explicitly.

Na Nach Nachma Nachman Meuman!

The Praises of Rabbi Nachman 4-7

HH

Shivchay Huran

4-7

4. Also in his childhood he began to study with very tremendous diligence in his studies, and he would pay the teacher from his (own) pocket three large coins for every daf (-two sides of a page) of Talmud that he would learn with him, besides for the tuition of the tutelage that is father paid the teacher, he himself of blessed memory would give the teacher from his own (money) three large coins for every single daf, in order that the teacher would force himself to learn with him many dafim (pages) of Talmud every day. And so it was, that the teacher would learn with him many, many dafim every single day, and he would pay him as mentioned previously three large coins for every single daf besides for the tuition of tutelage.

5. ‎And so he entered into the devotion of Hashem, and all his devotion was with very extremely great secrecy/modesty, to the extent that absolutely no one new of him at all, because he was very concealed and hidden. And all his devotion was in concealment with great privacy. And his main devotion at first was with great simplicity without any smarts whatsoever, just with absolute simplicity, and every single thing that he did, everything was with great exertion and with great force and mesiras nefesh (self-sacrifice). And there is no matter of devotion which came to him easily, just every single thing came to him with very great exertion, that he would exert himself many times for every single matter of the devotion of Hashem. And he had many, many ups and downs, thousands and myriads beyond measure and reckoning.

And it was very extremely difficult and heavy upon him to begin to enter the devotion of Hashem to accept upon himself the yolk of His devotion blessed He. And he would frequently begin for a few days to engage in the devotion of Hashem, and afterwards would fall from it, and would return to begin, and would return and fall. And so it was many, many times until one time (t.n. there is a dream regarding this) he gained conviction that he would be very strong, that he would hold to devotion of a Hashem forever, and he would not look upon anything in the world. And from then on his heart was strengthened in Hashem, but even still even afterwards he constantly had very, very many ups and downs, just that afterwards he was strong that he would not let up His devotion blessed He forever, even though at times he will have a descent, even still he would strengthen himself in the devotion of Hashem Yisburach as much as he can.

6. And he used to begin each time anew, that is when he would sometimes fall from his level he would not despair of himself because of this, rather he would say that he would start anew as if he did not begin yet at all to enter His devotion blessed He, just now he is starting new. So it was every single time, always he used to begin anew, and he had many beginnings in one day, for even in one day sometimes he fell from his devotion and would begin anew, and so forth many times in one day.

7. And he studied with tremendous diligence and he learned a very great deal; "shas (Talmud)," and "poskim (halachic deciders)," and "Ta.Na.Ch. (Torah, Neveim-prophets, Kesuvim-scriptures)," and "Ain Yaakov (an anthology of the agada of the Talmud with commentaries)," and the books of the Zohar, and Tikunay Zohar, and all the "Kisvay (writings of) Hu-Ari (The lion, also acronym Rabbi Isaac (Luria)) o.b.m., and a vast amount of the other books, and "sifray (books of) mussar (ethics)," very abundantly.

And he said: that all the small books that speak of mussar (ethics), all of them where in his father's house. And he studied from all of them. He also learned a lot of "Raishis Chuchmuh (Beginning of Knowledge, a work of ethics authored by a disciple of the Ramak, based on Kabbalah)," and he said explicitly: that he learned the book Raishis Chuchmuh countless times (t.n. see the Words of Yisroel Dov Odesser where he tells over about R' Tzvi Hersch Rosenthal who was very keen on this work).

And the greatness of his vast proficiency in all the books as can be seen ostensibly somewhat, was without limit, and especially in the books of Ta.Na.Ch. and Ain Yaakov and all the Kisvay Hu-Ari and the books of the Zohar and Tikunim there is no one in the world to be found of his caliber. Because the whole Torah in its entirety was ready before him, fluent in his mouth, like a set table mamash, like something placed before the person before his eyes so that he could take for himself what he desires, similarly all the holy books were mamash set before the eyes of his holy intellect whenever he desired. And a bit of this can be seen and discerned in his holy books.

Na Nach Nachma Nachman Meuman!