The Praises of Rabbi Nachman 8-10

HH

Shivchay Huran

8-10

8. And he related that all his learning came to him with great exertion, because at the beginning he studied mishnayos, and he didn't understand what he was learning, and he would cry copiously before Hashem Yisburach that He should enlighten his eyes. And he would cry and cry so much until he merited that he was able to learn mishnayos. And so too afterwards he learned other books and he also didn't understand, and he would cry and cry as well very copiously until he merited to understand them. And so too with the study of Zohar and Kisvay Hu-Ari o.b.m., he would also cry copiously until he merited to understand.

And he said: that at the beginning with every single book that he studied he did not understand and it was extremely difficult for him and he was unable to figure out the simple meaning of the context. And he had great suffering from this, and his learning was with great exertion, and even still he learned a very great deal. Because he would strengthen himself immensely, and he merited to everything through his prayers and his crying as mentioned above.

9. And he would fast very profusely, and many times he fasted from Shabbos to Shabbos, and all this was in his very youth before he was 20 years old. And sometimes he fasted twice from Shabbos to Shabbos continuously from one to the next. And even though he was a "yel-ed (-a child of) shaashoo-im (delight/spoiled) (Jeremiah 31:19)," and was raised pampered, and was an extremely delicate person, even still he did not have any mercy on himself whatsoever, and he fasted and mortified himself tremendously, and he fasted 18 ("chay") times from Shabbos to Shabbos in one year (-that is the maximum feasible amount, because there are days in the year which are forbidden to fast on).

10. However, his main devotion through which he merited what he merited, was just the abundant prayers, and the beseeching, and the supplications, and the conciliations, and the appeasements that he was very accustomed to pray and beseech before Him blessed He. And he would placate and appease Him blessed He with all types of beseeching and supplications that He should merit him with His Mercy to draw him close to His service blessed He. And fundamentally what availed him were the prayers that he prayed in Yiddish, for he would very often designate for himself someplace that he found where there were no people, and he would express his words before Hashem Yisburach in the vernacular, that is in Yiddish. And he would placate and appease Him blessed He, and supplicate and beseech before Him blessed He with many, many types of argumentation and reasonings that it was befitting for Him blessed He that He should draw him close to His service, and he would do this very extremely frequently, and he spent days and years at this.

He would also hide himself on top of his father's house under the roof, where there was the likeness of a room with partitions of reeds for storage of hay and fodder, and he would hide himself there and recite Psalms and he would scream silently to Hashem Yisburach that He should merit him to draw him close to Him blessed He.

And in general all the various supplications in the world that are found in any book that is available by us, absolutely everything, he did not leave any beseechment or supplication that he did not say many, many times, whether it be Psalms, or the book "Shaaray (gates of) Tzion (Zion), or the supplications printed in the large prayer books, or the other types of supplications and beseechings, and even the beseechings printed in Yiddish - all of them, he did not leave out from saying them, and he would frequently say all the beseeching which are printed after the maamudos for each day, and he would frequently say all the beseechings in their entirety of all the days in one time (t.n. since the prayers are specific to the day of the week it is my belief that Rabbi Nachman would have introduced the prayers of each day accordingly: On Sunday this is..., On Monday this is...).

He was also accustomed at times to say from Psalms just the verses which speak in beseeching and supplication and screaming to Hashem Yisburach, and he would say just these verses and not say the rest. And he would say all these verses from the whole book of Psalms in one time.

And aside from all of this, the main thing was what he would pray from himself, that is, what he was accustomed to speak from his heart before Hashem Yisburach in Yiddish, that he would pray and argue before Hashem Yisburach with many, many types of argumentation and beseeching and supplications that he would say from his mind and his heart as mentioned above that Hashem Yisburach should merit him to His service. And this was the fundamental which availed him to merit to what he merited, so we heard from his holy mouth explicitly.

Na Nach Nachma Nachman Meuman!