Prayer for Torah 282 – Azamru
I will sing to my Gd with my very last bit
(Likutay Tefilos 90)
“I will praise Hashem melodiously with (/in) my life I will sing to my G-d with my very last bit (/utmost/remnant) (Psalms 146:2).” Master of the World, do with me in Your wondrous ways and Your powerful kindness, and be now (/please) to my aid, and save me, so that I merit all the time to bring joy to my soul which is very extremely, immeasurably desolate and wretched, in such a way that I shall merit to be happy always. Because You alone know (Koheles 8:9), “all that goes on which is done under the sun,” from the day of the creation of Udum Hureeshoan (-Adam the first) until this day, and what is done now in this generation. “Everything that happened (Esther 4:1),” in the world at large with the entirety of the souls of Israel, and “everything that is done” with me, the poor and the destitute, the impoverished and the ruined, the sinner and the marred, the willful offender and very guilty, he who is so cruel to himself. Everything that was done with my neshuma (highest soul), my ruach (spirit – middle soul), and my nefesh (lowest soul), from the day they were emanated, and created, and formed, and made, until they were drawn into the bodies that they were incarnated into, in all the gilgulim (-a type of reincarnation, just with different variations of the makeup and assembly of the contributing souls that will be incarnated) that transpired over them, until they came inside my body, this (body) the coarse, the sinning, and the very defected. Everything that transpired over me, from the day remembered by the supernal elder (-from Rabbi Nachman's Story of Ancient Times of the Seven Beggars, day one) who remembers nothing (-i.e. even before he had any existence in this world – see there), and everything that I underwent in the days remembered by the other holy elders who remember the appearance (-neshama), and the taste (-nefesh), and the smell (-ruach), and the sages who brought out the seed (-from the mind), and when they brought the seed to plant the fruit (-drawing down the seed), and when the fruit began to be and to take form (-in the womb), and when there was the candle burning (-over the child's head in the womb), and when they cut the fruit from the tree (-severing the umbilical cord), which You alone know the explanation of these things. And all that happened to me in those days, and all that happened to me afterwards until this day, and all that I did, good and bad, everything I transgressed and defected, unintentionally (bi-shoagaig) and intentionally (bi-maizeed), against my will (bi-oaness) and willfully (bi-rutzoan), every single day. And everything that You merited me in Your mercy, to grab some good points in these bad days that transpired over me from when I was just a bit (-from the outset) until this day. And now, after everything that has come upon me, and after everything that I did, whether good or bad, show me and teach me now the way, and course, and path of truth, in such a way that I merit to return in complete repentance in truth from now, at the very least.
Master of the world, desirer of kindness, full of mercy, “Who looks expectantly at the wicked person and desires his righteousness (/acquittal) (liturgy of the High Holidays),” Who judges every person favorably always, abundant in kindness, and copiously does goodness, “Who manages His world with kindness and His creatures with mercy (Shabbos liturgy of Nishmas)”. Help me and merit me (to) the true way, in such a fashion that I merit even now to search, and to seek, and to find in myself merit and good points to judge myself favorably always, in such a fashion that I merit to bring joy to myself at all times, and to truly enter the measure of merit, and to merit through this to complete repentance in truth, and to be pray – through this – with great kavana (-intention, meaning), with vitality, and with fervor, and with lots of happiness, and great, powerful joy, and I merit to truly fulfill the written verse (Psalms 146:2), “I will sing to my G-d with my very last bit (-utmost, remnant).”
Master of the World, You know that I have no vitality, and strength, and hope, and wherewithal to open my mouth to speak before You, only through this holy, and awesome, and supreme, and wondrous way that our holy rabbis of blessed memory revealed on the verse, “I will sing <azamru> to my Gd <lAiloahay> with my very last bit <bi-oadey> (-utmost, remnant).” For You know the great enormity and abundance of my corruption, the bitterness of the bitterness, the mortal pain of my enormous sins, so very heavy in nature, and in quantity, and in quality, that there just about, virtually wouldn't be hope Heaven forbid, because from the sole of the foot till the head I am not sound (-healthy), wounds, and bruises, and fresh sores (Isaiah 1:6). But You exhorted us that a person needs to search, and to seek, and to find in himself good points, and to bring joy to his soul, and not to fall in his resolve, certainly not to despair of himself Heaven forbid in any way in the world, therefore help me, and merit me, and show me the way to truly merit this, that I merit every time that they wish to overwhelm me Heaven forbid, the sadness, and depression, and anxiety, and grief, through my sins, and my very numerous and enormous willful sins, and they desire to weaken my resolve and debilitate my ability (“hand”) as if there is no hope Heaven forbid, that You should help me, and save me with Your abundant and great kindness, to overpower them with all (my) might and power, and not to fall in my resolve in any way in the world, just to strengthen and overcome with the strength of all (my) faculties, to search, and to examine, and to seek, and to find in myself merit and good points that I merited to do from my outset (“a bit”) till this day. Because in truth, even in our utter shortcomings, and our lowliness, and our utter proliferation of defects, even still Your kindness prevails over us, and You merited us in Your mercy all the time, to grab every time some mitzvoas and good deeds. (And) Just as You praise, and boast of, and are affectionate to Kinnesses Yisroel (-the Congregation of Israel) in their exile and their lowliness, “like a half of a cut open pomegranate is the lineament of your brow <rakusaik> (Song of Songs 4:3, 6:7),” even the caustic sinners of Israel <raikim - – similar root, meaning empty ones> are full of mitzvoas like a pomegranate (has seeds. Brachos 57a). And although even the actual mitzvoas that we do are full of dross, ulterior self interest, and extraneous thoughts, and confusions, and we still have never done any mitzva perfectly, even still, it is impossible that they do not have some good points, because in each and every mitzva that each and every one of us merited to do from time to time, whether it be tzitzis or tefillin, or receiving Shabbos and the holidays, or (giving) some charity and acts of kindness, and distancing from forbidden foods, etc. etc., certainly there is in every mitzva and good deed at the very least, some good point. And through these good points it is befitting for us to be happy all our days forever, even in our utter inadequacy, what we merited to bring about nachas ruach (a spirit of delightful satisfaction) before You with some good points that we merited in all the days of our lives. And through this we will merit to truly enter the measure of merit, and bring joy to our souls always, in such a way that we will merit to return in true complete repentance through this. Because I believe, with complete faith, that through this wondrous kind way and channel, there is hope for me as well, and even for all the caustic sinners of Israel who are execrable, to merit from now, to true complete repentance, and to be happy always.
And merit me, in Your abundant mercy, to judge everyone favorably always, and even when I see a completely wicked person, even still I will search and seek until I find in him as well good points, until I merit to judge him favorably and truly bring him into the measure of merit, and to return him in complete true repentance through this. Master of the World, in merit, and by the power of the true tzadikim who advocate the good of Israel always, who engage and labor with all their strength to search and excavate to find merit and good in every one of Israel, even in the most execrable, in their merit and their power, merit us also to truly achieve this.
And merit us to draw close to these true tzadikim who always engage in this, to search, and seek, and to find good points in each and every one of Israel, even in the caustic sinners of Israel, in all of them they search and find, with their wisdom, good points, and they gather and collect them “one by one to realize an amount (Ecclesiastes 7:27, Sota 9a),” and they bring even them into the measure of merit, and build from them holy, wondrous, awesome structures, and they raise before You great delights that never ascended before you in the history of the world, and they merit to make holy songs and melodies through this collection of good from these places. Master of the World, full of mercy, merit us to draw close to these tzadikim, and merit us to be included in them and to hear the holy prayers of these awesome tzadikim, whom they alone know to pray for all of Israel, and to “descend before the taiva (-lead the prayer service from the designated stand)” to fulfill (lihoatzee) for the public their obligation, to collect all the good, and all the good points from each and every one of the supplicaters, and to pray with all of this good before You, He Whom is full of mercy, and to turn around the Attribute of Din (-judgment) to the Attribute of Mercy. Merit us in Your great kindness and Your powerful mercy that we should be included in the prayers of these tzadikim, and they will pray for us always. And they will not give You respite (Isaiah 62:7), until You have mercy on us as well, on each and every one, and You gather us home, and You bring us into the measure of merit in truth, and bring joy to our souls always, and return us in complete repentance before You in truth, from now and forever.
And so, You should have mercy on us, and on our children, and all the children of Your nation the House of Israel, and You should protect, and guard, and save all the children of Your nation the House of Israel from all the bad factions of the evil scholars who proliferate now due to our abundant sins, as You know. (Both,) From the factions of heretics that are engaged in external wisdoms and the inarticulate language of the gentiles, who rise up all the time to educate the youth of the Children of Israel in their evil and bitter ways, to alienate from the study of the Oral Torah (she'bal peh) and not to learn anything except TaNaCh (Torah, Neveim, Kesuvim – Scriptures) with the discipline of grammar, and also this, for just a short hour in the day, and to spend the main time on the study of superficial wisdoms and languages which uproot a person from two worlds. Woe to the eyes that see this, woe to the ears that hear this. And from the other factions of those who are wise in their own eyes (-pretentious) who mock those who are tumim (-wholehearted simplicity) in their ways, who engage in the service of Hashem and His Torah with simplicity and temeemoos (-wholeheartedness) without void (hevel) wisdoms, as our holy fathers and rabbis instructed us, which many rise up against them and spread nets to ensnare their legs, to veer them from the straight adapted way, to fabricate from their hearts wisdoms of folly and mockery, to confuse and weaken Heaven forbid the da'as (resolve, reason) of the temeemim (-wholehearted) and upright in their hearts. Adoanoy Eloaheem, You know all this, how very much these wisdoms damage Your service. Have mercy on us, and on our children, and on all the children of Your nation the House of Israel, and guard and save all the children of Your nation the House of Israel from all these evil factions, so that they (the children) will not be caught in their trap-nets in the days of their youth. And help, and shield, and save us all the time, and show us and teach us us always so that we merit to know how to conduct our children and progeny from their childhood, how to guard them and rescue their souls from these evil factions, and to educate them well in Your holy and true ways, so that they go in the path of the just and the truth, with temeemoos (-straightforward wholeheartedness) and simplicity as is truly Your good desire, as we received from our holy fathers and rabbis. And we should merit to make known to all our children and the subsequent generations, and to all the generations of the seed of Israel, all the great works of Hashem which You have done (Deuteronomy 11:7) with us, from the days of forefathers until now, in every single generation, “In order that they should know, the last generation, the children that will be born, they shall get up and they shall tell over to their children (Psalms 78:6).” And we should merit to fulfill perfectly the verse of the Scripture (Deuteronomy 4:9), “and you shall make known to your children and the children of your children.” To make known to them the holiness of our holy, pure, and wholesome faith. And You should have mercy on all the children of Your nation the House of Israel from their babyhood, that they should merit to receive the hevel (-breath – vapor of speech) of their mouths which is devoid of sin, from the holy tabernacles of the true tzadikim, of whom each and every one builds a holy tabernacle from where the teenoakoas <very young children> shel <of> bais rabbun <the house of their master-teacher> receive the holy hevel of their mouths which is devoid of sin. Master of the World, You know everything that goes on, which is taking place now in the world in these generations regarding the teenoakoas shel bais rabbun, which the entire world is only sustained on the holy hevel of their mouths which is devoid of sin (Shabbos 119b), and many rise up against them to confuse and damage Heaven forbid the holy hevel of their mouths from their youth through their evil wisdoms. Have mercy on them and on us for Your sake, and shield them, and guard them, and save them from all types of evil educations of all the various ways that are not upright in Your eyes. “You Hashem <Adoanoy> guard them protect each one from this generation forever (Psalms 12:8, see Medrash there brought in Rashi that this was David's prayer regarding the purity of the young children).” Have compassion on the remainder of the children of Your nation the House of Israel, whom have no one to uphold us except the merit of the holy hevel of their mouths which is devoid of sin. Have mercy on them and on us, that all the children of Your nation the House of Israel, so that each and every one receives the hevel of his mouth which is devoid of sin, from the holy tabernacle of the true tzadik he is associated with, according to the root of his soul, in such a way that they merit through him to go and to be educated in the service of Hashem Yisburach, and to enter the Torah of Hashem in truth, so that they merit to learn Torah lishmu (-for the sake of the Shechina – Divine Presence), and to speak (lihagoas, also means to contemplate) in it day and night. And open their hearts in the study of Your Torah, and give them understanding in their hearts, to understand, and to be perspicacious, to hear (/heed), to study, to teach, to guard, to act (in good deeds), and to fulfill all the words of Your Torah with love, and enlighten their eyes in Your Torah, and bind their hearts with Your mitzvoas (-blessing preceding the recital of Shema in the morning prayer of Shacharis). And lengthen their days and years with goodness and pleasantness, and be with them always, and help them and save them so that they merit to serve You in truth all their days, forever.
Master of the World, full of mercy, privy to the hidden, merit us to achieve our requests with mercy by You, in merit and power of the true tzadikim of great stature, who are always engaged in judging the world favorably, and searching, and seeking, and finding good points in each and every one of Israel, even in the lowest most execrable, and to collect all this good, and to pray with all this good, before You, to mitigate and nullify all the dinim (judgments) of the world; these tzadikim who see and understand all the aspects, in general and particular, that are in the matter of the teenoakoas shel bais rabbun, for they “see where the children (teenoakoas) are reading (Mishna, Shabbos 1:3; 11a),” and from which tzadik each and every child (teenoak) receives the hevel of his mouth which is devoid of sin, and how many receive from him, and all the aspects that this comprises, and the generation that will come out from them, till the end. In merit of these tzadikim, help and save us and all the children of Your nation the House of Israel, and merit us to accomplish everything we requested from before You, and fulfill our supplications for the good, with mercy.
Master of the Entire World (translated from Aramaic), merit me to truly enter the measure of merit, in such a way that I merit from now to return in complete repentance before You, in truth. Merit me, in the merit of all the true tzadikim that were in each and every generation, and in merit of all the true tzadikim of this generation, and help me, and save me, and teach me, and show me all the time, true aitzoas (advice, remedies, recourse), in such a fashion that I merit to bring joy to my soul all the time through the ways of this Torah (-lesson), and not to allow the sadness and depression to enter me or to touch me at all, just, I should merit to be happy always, in truth and with all (my) heart and soul, and put joy in my heart through the ways of this Torah (-lesson). And I should merit to be just happy always through each and every good point that I merited from when I was just a bit (-from the outset) until this day, to bring about some nachas ruach (a spirit of delightful satisfaction) before You, and help me, and save me, so that I merit also to bring joy to others. And show me and teach me da'as (-reason) and understanding, in such a way that I merit to this – to bring joy to the souls of Your nation Israel all the time, and to always judge them favorably, until they all merit to return to You in truth and in joy, and there shall be a speedy fulfillment of the verse in the Scriptures (Ezekiel 36:26-7), “And I will give you a new heart and a new spirit I will put inside of you, and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh… and I will do that which will have you going in My statutes and guarding and doing My ordinances.” And we should merit to serve Hashem with happiness and to come before Him with joyous song (Psalms 100), and there shall be a fulfillment of the verse of Scriptures (Psalms 149:2), “Israel will rejoice with his Maker, the Children of Zion will be gleeful with their King.” And it says (Psalms 104:33-5), “I will sing (usheeru) to Hashem in (/with) my life, I will sing (azamru) to my G-d with my utmost (-remnant bit). [May] my words be sweet upon (-to) Him, I will rejoice with (/in) Hashem. [May] the iniquity cease from the world, and the wicked people be no longer (/bit), my soul blesses Hashem, halleloo-Yu <praise G-d>.
Na Nach Nachma Nachman MeUman!