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Shivchay Huran
24-27 end of Part 1
24. Also they understood from his words that he spoke with them, that in his youth when he toiled and labored for the service of Hashem, he had many (many) types of mortification, and according to what was heard and understood from his words, (that) he had all types of mortifications that there are in the world, be it rolling in the snow etc. and so forth. And he said, that the mortification of restraining oneself not to scratch himself at all, this is the overly greatest mortification, that is, when a person is being bit (-irritated) by the things found close to his skin, and it is the way of everyone to scratch themselves whenever they feel the biting (-itching); and he accepted this as a mortification, to force himself not to scratch at all, not with his hand and not with his body and not with any limb, and he said, that this is a very great mortification, for the person is inert, and then the biting/itching grows stronger, and he is forbidden to move his hands or any limb, just to feel every bite in his mind, and it is a very great mortification. (And I have already heard this from other people, that this is a very great mortification). And he of blessed memory did everything, all the types of modifications that there are in the world, and everything - with temeemus (wholesomeness, wholeheartedness, simplicity, unfeigned) and truth, until he merited to what he merited, fortunate is he.
Also in the matter of suffering, which befall upon most tzadikim, mamash (-literally) there is not heard and there is not seen a peer of suffering like him, and it is impossible to relate and to explain. And he was full of suffering from inside and out. And in the beginning, before the end of his days, he had enormous and terrible suffering, which has no counterpart suffering in the world. And he related, that his suffering are in his hand (-control); whenever he desires - he accepts them upon himself, and these sufferings come upon him, and when he desires to get rid of them - they depart from upon him (t.n. the Talmud, Bava Metzeyuh 84a relates this of Rabbi Eluzar son of Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai). And the enormity of the harshness and the weight of the sufferings was immeasurable.
They said over in his name that he said, that in the hour (-time) that the sufferings come upon him, from the utter magnitude of the superlative pain and very, very excruciating agony, he was just about able to bite a tree with his teeth from the enormous pain (like a person does when he has formidable suffering, that from the sheer enormity of the suffering he gnashes his teeth; and upon him of blessed memory the suffering was so intense and harsh, to the extent that at the time of the suffering he was able to cut through wood with his teeth from the enormous pain). However the greatness and massiveness of the harsh and enormous suffering that he had at the end of his days for three consecutive years, were yet much, much greater and harsher manifold ("double and quadruple"), unfathomable and beyond any reckoning. And a little of this will be explained elsewhere (see The Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman, the section addressing his trip to Lemberg and the section of his trip and stay in Uman, and The Days of Our Teacher Rabbi Nussun), if it is Hashem's will, a slight fringe. And there is still a lot more to relate, but we omitted most of it, even of the little that we know, because even this little (that we know) is a lot to tell over, and many folios would be insufficient, and further revelation will be in yet a future time to explain more, with the help of Hashem Yisburach.
25. The general synopsis (is) - that in all matters of holiness and aestheticism, be it with (bodily) desires, or be it with character traits, or be it with matters of exertion and devotions and labor and suffering etc. for His sake blessed He, (with) absolutely everything he was a very wondrous and awesome novelty, and he was divested of all the (bodily) desires and of all vices in the utmost, to the extent that there was no remnants by him of any (bodily) desire or vice, any nuance in the world, and he merited to a very, very awesome level, the pinnacle of heights, and it is impossible to speak at all of the utter magnitude of his superlative stature, because the more one elaborates - he detracts; and everything that we related until now, even though all the aforementioned stories are considered a degradation opposite him, according to the enormous stature that he merited to afterwards, even still we related all of this regarding his devotion and his ways in the days of his childhood, so that we should know and be cognizant of how there is free choice ("bicheeruh chufshees"), and every person can merit, if he wants, to a very superlative level, even though it seems to him that the devotion is difficult and heavy upon him and they do not allow him to enter at all in His devotion blessed He, because the desires and the vices pursue him tremendously, even still he needs to be stubborn in his devotion, and not to pay attention to all of this, because in these stories a smart person will understand from his own reasoning how also on the holy awesome Rebbe za.tza.viku.l. there transpired as well all impediments and the heaviness mentioned above, and he traversed through all this, and even still he merited to break everything, because he truly wanted His devotion blessed He, and he chose life in truth, until he merited what he merited. And he said, that even if he was not from the progeny of the Godly Baal Shem Tov za.tza.viku.l. just even if he was from a lowly family of Israel, he would also have merited to what he merited through the utter power of his devotion and his toil, that he toiled and labored very, very much in His service blessed He.
26. And he had strong grievance on those people who think that the main stature of the tzadik and the attainment he merited is through virtue of their neshama (-soul) alone, because he has a very lofty soul, and he said, that the matter is not so, just what is essential is contingent on good deeds, and exertion, and devotions. And he said explicitly, that every person in the world can merit to an overly lofty level, because the matter is not contingent except on the free choice of the person alone, if he desires to have mercy on himself and to resolve for himself very well what is good before him in truth etc., and everything (is) - according to the abundance of the deed.
27. And therefore even the awesome miracles that we saw from Rabbainu o.b.m., we are not engaged in relating them, because this is not praise of him whatsoever according to his enormous, superlative prominence, we just related what is pertinent to His devotion blessed He, in order to arouse the sagacious who desires the truth, because there is no excuse in the world, and every person can merit to lofty heights, if he goes and conducts in the ways of Rabbainu o.b.m. which are explained here in this book. And the main thing (is) - to be very regular in very copious prayers and supplications, and specifically to speak between oneself and his Creator in the vernacular, to abound in conversation before Him blessed He, to conciliate Him, and to appease Him blessed He, and to beseech before Him that He should draw him close to His devotion in truth. And this note is sufficient for all who desire the truth.
End of Part 1
Na Nach Nachma Nachman Meuman
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