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Thursday, June 9, 2016

Travelling Nanach Style


Just when I thought I have seen it all, Rabbainu showed me that I am just getting my feet wet. First I tried to barge into the gates section showing just my boarding card as a pdf on my phone, I completely forgot that you need to first run that through the computer and get a printout, they weren't so happy about that. So I went in line, and I was very excited, I had a wad of holy peteks in my hand, and an open sefer of the Ramchal, holy of holies, and I couldn't stop from prancing about in delight. The guy probably realized that I was high, he just couldn't figure out the Nanach part, he asked me if I had received anything and I told them I had a nifty stash of the holy petek with me, he asked me if i had bought them or got them as a present, I told him the Nanach's have them around and so i helped myself, but I would have been glad to pay, whatever it would cost, it's very well worth it. So he asks me where they are in my bag. So I tell him everywhere, I stash them everywhere, and he's mulling this over, and asking more and more of these sorts of questions and I realize I have an opportunity of inoculating Nanach into this dude, and he's having great difficulty, so he goes to the superviser for a consultation, but she's in middle of briefing a bunch of the regulars, so he has to wait, meanwhile about 200 people are waiting while I dance about with my stash. He came back for some more give and take, and got an earfull of Nanach, and went back to wait on his supervisor some more. Finally she comes over, and starts the whole thing from the beginning, this time I'm already warmed up, (why were you in Israel? Because I'm Nanach - pointing to all my Nanach ornaments- and Rabbainu is all about the Holy Land, in fact....) and she gets to know about how I was originally charedi, and then Rabbainu had mercy on me and I was brainwashed (I told her that in Hebrew that is Shteefas moach), and so on and on it went, until I got her giggling, and I did a little bout of my roudy laughter, and continued educating her about my life as a Nanach, inviting her to Uman, and to find me a shidduch. They kept looking over my passport and I was praying and dancing, and reassuring myself in the merit of NNNNM and the blessings of my holy friends. It was really gevald - somewhere in the middle Hazamir revealed himself in the long line watching the show, and gave a holler - I wanted to introduce him to the supervisor, possibly as a character witness, but the situation didn't present itself. It was a pretty crazy ordeal with security, B"H, unfortunately we can't video these things. So all the times she's getting surprised, like with the fact that I was originally chareidi, and a bunch of other things, and as we're wrapping things up, she says so now you're going home, and I figure that she's catching on that Rabbainu is home, and I say, forsure, Rabbainu is home, and then she finds out I'm going to Uman - the whole time she thought - I don't know how i was going home! Surprise surprise, it was just hilarious. B"H. Na Nach Nachma Nachman MeUman!

Later going through the real customs, I got a guy who was a very big fellow, and he was in middle of some transaction with a friend, when I popped in, and his face was full of puzzlement, baffeled, really strange. He saw my brand new passport, and asked me in wonderment how I entered the country, so I revealed to him, that I had an old passport, then he's asking me for a students visa, and things are looking bleak, and I realize i'm not even holding my wad, so I quickly dig into my pockets and came out with a wad which I shuffled in front of his face shining Saba and the Petek at him, and after a few more little bits - there's some more great parts which I can't write right now, B"H he let me through, no problems....

Na Nach Nachma Nachman MeUman!


MC said...

I have said it before, and I will (IY"H) say it again:

Travelling by you is mamash a Gevalt!

An inspiration, an education, and an adventure - and that's just the journey!

That's just the FIRST PART of the journey!!

Wishing you the happiest, holiest and sweetest Yomtov!

May you be zoche to remind the Sea not to be sad, and the Hills that they will dance again... (He'horim - Tirkedu K'Ailim ...)

Much Love


MC said...

Please see a Tefilla or 2 for me as well - some things are a bit tough for me right now

Moshe Chaim ben Raytzeh (pronounced Rye-tzeh)

Much love


MC said...

Please *say*