The Praises of Rabbi Nachman - part 2 - His Voyage to Israel - 33

HH

Shivchay HuRan

Part 2

33.

And after all of this, after he did all the aforementioned devotions with truth and wholeheartedness, and he abounded in fasts and in prayers a very great deal, and in mortifications, and breaking (bodily) desires and vices, and withstood many tests, and all the other aforementioned matters, and he abounded very extremely in hisbodidus - to converse between himself and his Maker -and to express himself in Yiddish (-i.e. his vernacular) etc. as mentioned above, until he merited to a very extremely lofty and supernal level in the utmost of holiness and in the utmost of abnegation and drawing close to Hashem Yisburach, in the level of the greatest of the binay aleyuh (-men of ascent, i.e. who ascend to very high and even Divine paradigms in their devotion to HY). And all of this he merited in his very childhood, because he did not rest at day and did not sleep nor was he passive at night. And he was extremely diligent in his devotion from day to day from the beginning of his childhood and the days of his youth. And he toiled and labored arduously from day to day, until he merited in his very youth to all that was mentioned above, to lofty and awesome holiness and very enormous hasaga (-spiritual conception) etc. in the level of greatest binay aleyuh.

And after he merited to all this, even still he wasn't placated with this, and he did not allow himself to stand. Just, even afterwards, everyday and every hour he longed, and yearned, and pined for Hashem Yisburach as if he did not start yet whatsoever with any devotion in the world. Even after he came from the Land of Israel and merited there to very extremely high and lofty hasaga (-spiritual conception) which is utterly unfathomable, even still from the day that he came from the Land of Israel until the day that he passed away in peace (to) very high above, he always had yearning and longing etc. for Hashem Yisburach as if he still had not started whatsoever.

And to speak of this matter vast folios would not suffice, even what we merited to understand a little of this matter according to what we heard from his holy mouth and we saw with our eyes. Because it was his way every time that he would yearn for Hashem Yisburach, and he was truly lowly in his own eyes, and he had great compassion on himself as if he had still not smelled ever any fragrance of the service of Hashem, and as if he still had not started whatsoever.

And in reality even someone who transgressed the whole entire Torah, Heaven forbid, many, many times, and when this person is aroused in true repentance, at which time (certainly) he certainly has a very broken heart when he looks upon himself where he is in the world, and he has very great compassion on himself with great meekness etc., and there's no need to elaborate on this, on a matter understood of itself, even still, even this compassion and broken heart of the aforementioned baal teshuva (-person repenting), does not reach a thousandth or one ten thousandth of the great compassion and broken heart in great meekness etc. that Rabbainu o.b.m. had, each and every time before he came to some hasaga (-spiritual conception).

And in short, (that) he never rested nor was he still even in the days of his greatness. Even though he had already merited to what he merited, to conception of the Divine, on a very enormous and awesome lofty level, even still he did not suffice himself with this, and he toiled and labored at all times and all hours, and he took upon himself suffering, severe and bitter suffering which are almost unparalleled in this world, and he abounded in many prayers, and pleading, and entreaties, and supplications, and very extremely great and awesome yearning and longing, until he came to a higher hasaga and level. And afterwards, immediately when he merited this hasaga (and) then he was a happy a little. And sometimes we merited to hear from his mouth that he informed us that now he has come to know new things etc. and he was happy then a little. And afterwards, immediately when he merited this, afterwards he began again anew, And he forgot everything that transpired as if he still had not begun at all, and he returned and began anew as if he was starting to go and enter in the holiness of Israel (-a Jew). And sometimes we heard from his holy mouth explicitly that he said in an expression of longing and yearning: "How does one merit to be a Yehoodey (-a Jew)?" And he said this honestly and with great temeemus (-wholeheartedness, sincerity) as if he still did not begin at all. And so it was many times.

And he constantly went and rose from level to level. Even though he merited to extremely lofty and awesome levels high, high above etc., Even still he was never pacified with this at all, and immediately afterwards he would have a broken heart and he had great compassion on himself with great meekness etc. as mentioned above, until he merited to a higher level. And this was his way always until the end.

And many, many times it was his way that he said that now he does not know anything whatsoever, absolutely nothing. And sometimes he swore on this, that he truthfully knows nothing at all (see The Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman 215), even though on the previous day or the previous hour he revealed formidable ("ateekim" also connotes very well established in time (like 'antique'), principle, and esoteric) concepts, even still afterwards he said that he does not no anything. And in this matter he was a very extremely great novelty. And he said explicitly of himself that his Torah is a very great novelty, however, his "not knowing" is a phenomenally greater novelty. I.e. the aforementioned matter, that every time it was his way to say that now he does know at all, and see more about this elsewhere (see the next article #35, and see Words of Rabbi Nachman 3 - about the tachlis (ultimate extent or purpose) of knowledge is not knowing. And see The Life of Our Leader Rabbi Nachman 215 and 283).

Na Nach Nachma Nachman Meuman

How did Tzipora merit to marry Moshe

HH

Amongst many other things...
Everyday Yisro's daughters would bring their sheep to drink, and they would fill up the troughs with water, pail by pail, and the other shepherds would come and banish them. A lesser person would have given up and resolved that it was simply futile to come early to fill the troughs just to be banished and the water stolen. But not the daughters of Yisro, and thus one day Moshe was witness to this daily procedure, and he intervened, saved them, and married Tzipora.

Na Nach Nachma Nachman Meuman

The Praises of Rabbi Nachman 11-13

HH

Shivchay Huran

11-13

11. And some times he would be speaking before Hashem Yisburach words of beseeching and supplication from his heart and it occurred to him while he was speaking nice arguments and fitting and articulate prayers, and they were good in his eyes and he would write them to have by him to remember, in order that he could also pray them frequently afterwards. And so he was accustomed in this matter to speak between himself and his Creator very very copiously, and all the prayers were that he should merit to draw close to Hashem Yisburach, and he had great arguments to Hashem Yisburach on this.

12. ‎And even still it seemed to him always that he was not being looked at at all and he was not being heard at all, just on the contrary, it seemed to him that he was being alienated from His service blessed He with all types of alienation as if he was not desired at all whatsoever. Because he would see the changing and passing of many many days and years and he was still distant from a Hashem Yisburach, and still had not merited to be drawn any closer, therefore it seemed in his eyes that his words were not being heard at all and absolutely no attention was being given to him, just on the contrary, he was being alienated with all types of alienation from His service blessed He. But even still he would strengthen himself tremendously and would not leave his place. And there were times that he was disheartened because he saw that he prays, pleads, and implores so much that he should be drawn close to the service of Hashem Yisburach but was not looked upon at all, and because of this he fell sometimes disheartened and he would not speak so much between himself and his Creator for some days. Afterwards he would be conscious of himself and would be embarrassed of himself that he suspected His attributes/conduct blessed He, because in reality certainly Hashem Yisburach is gracious and merciful etc. and certainly He desires to draw him close etc. and he returned and strengthened his resolve, and he began again to plead and speak before Hashem Yisburach as mentioned above. And so it was many times.

13. And he would do all types of simple devotions of service of Hashem without any smarts ("chuchmos") and all with great secrecy/modesty. And immediately upon going outside he would purposely do all types of childish things, all types of silliness and prancing and other similar things (which are called in Yiddish far shaitkait) until it was not possible for it to occur to anyone that he desired the service of Hashem.

And in the beginning in his childhood he was accustomed to taking some large coins and he would change them for small ones, and he would enter the synagogue secretly through the window and so forth and he took with him the book "Shaaray (gates of) Tzion (Zion)," and he would say the lishaim (for the sake of) yichud (unification) for doing a mitzva (a declaration stating one's intent in doing the deed is for the sake Heaven to unify the Divine Names with proper fulfillment of the deed with love and fear and in the name of all of Israel), and he took one small coin and threw it into the "matan (given) bisaiser (in secrecy) (i.e. a charity box designated as such)." And afterwards he made himself as if he was abstracted from it, and afterwards he returned and said the aforementioned lishaim yichud and returned and threw one penny into the "matan bisaiser." And so he returned and did many times until he threw all the pennies into the "matan bisaiser," and upon every single penny he said the aforementioned lishaim yichud. And his intention was in order to do many mitzvos, because his devotion was with absolute simplicity without any smarts ("chuchmos")  whatsoever.

And similarly he would do and serve Hashem Yisburach with all types of absolutely simple devotions without any smarts (-chuchmos) whatsoever, even though in reality he was enormously wise with very extreme superlative wisdom even in his childhood and in his youth as was widely known to all who knew him, even still he did not use any smarts whatsoever in the service of Hashem and was just accustomed to doing all the simple devotions of the world. That is, studying a lot of Torah, good deeds, and abundant prayers and supplications, and very abundant hisbodidus, to speak and express his words before Him blessed He as mentioned above, and so forth. And this was his essential phenomenally great wisdom, because from his utter superlative wisdom he merited immediately to this wisdom that no wisdom whatsoever is necessary for the service of Hashem. Because this is the fundamental greatest wisdom of all (as is explained in our words many times), not to be smart at all in the service of Hashem, just (to conduct) with unfeigned wholeheartedness and simplicity without any smarts (-chuchmos) whatsoever.

Na Nach Nachma Nachman Meuman

The Praises of Rabbi Nachman 4-7

HH

Shivchay Huran

4-7

4. Also in his childhood he began to study with very tremendous diligence in his studies, and he would pay the teacher from his (own) pocket three large coins for every daf (-two sides of a page) of Talmud that he would learn with him, besides for the tuition of the tutelage that is father paid the teacher, he himself of blessed memory would give the teacher from his own (money) three large coins for every single daf, in order that the teacher would force himself to learn with him many dafim (pages) of Talmud every day. And so it was, that the teacher would learn with him many, many dafim every single day, and he would pay him as mentioned previously three large coins for every single daf besides for the tuition of tutelage.

5. ‎And so he entered into the devotion of Hashem, and all his devotion was with very extremely great secrecy/modesty, to the extent that absolutely no one new of him at all, because he was very concealed and hidden. And all his devotion was in concealment with great privacy. And his main devotion at first was with great simplicity without any smarts whatsoever, just with absolute simplicity, and every single thing that he did, everything was with great exertion and with great force and mesiras nefesh (self-sacrifice). And there is no matter of devotion which came to him easily, just every single thing came to him with very great exertion, that he would exert himself many times for every single matter of the devotion of Hashem. And he had many, many ups and downs, thousands and myriads beyond measure and reckoning.

And it was very extremely difficult and heavy upon him to begin to enter the devotion of Hashem to accept upon himself the yolk of His devotion blessed He. And he would frequently begin for a few days to engage in the devotion of Hashem, and afterwards would fall from it, and would return to begin, and would return and fall. And so it was many, many times until one time (t.n. there is a dream regarding this) he gained conviction that he would be very strong, that he would hold to devotion of a Hashem forever, and he would not look upon anything in the world. And from then on his heart was strengthened in Hashem, but even still even afterwards he constantly had very, very many ups and downs, just that afterwards he was strong that he would not let up His devotion blessed He forever, even though at times he will have a descent, even still he would strengthen himself in the devotion of Hashem Yisburach as much as he can.

6. And he used to begin each time anew, that is when he would sometimes fall from his level he would not despair of himself because of this, rather he would say that he would start anew as if he did not begin yet at all to enter His devotion blessed He, just now he is starting new. So it was every single time, always he used to begin anew, and he had many beginnings in one day, for even in one day sometimes he fell from his devotion and would begin anew, and so forth many times in one day.

7. And he studied with tremendous diligence and he learned a very great deal; "shas (Talmud)," and "poskim (halachic deciders)," and "Ta.Na.Ch. (Torah, Neveim-prophets, Kesuvim-scriptures)," and "Ain Yaakov (an anthology of the agada of the Talmud with commentaries)," and the books of the Zohar, and Tikunay Zohar, and all the "Kisvay (writings of) Hu-Ari (The lion, also acronym Rabbi Isaac (Luria)) o.b.m., and a vast amount of the other books, and "sifray (books of) mussar (ethics)," very abundantly.

And he said: that all the small books that speak of mussar (ethics), all of them where in his father's house. And he studied from all of them. He also learned a lot of "Raishis Chuchmuh (Beginning of Knowledge, a work of ethics authored by a disciple of the Ramak, based on Kabbalah)," and he said explicitly: that he learned the book Raishis Chuchmuh countless times (t.n. see the Words of Yisroel Dov Odesser where he tells over about R' Tzvi Hersch Rosenthal who was very keen on this work).

And the greatness of his vast proficiency in all the books as can be seen ostensibly somewhat, was without limit, and especially in the books of Ta.Na.Ch. and Ain Yaakov and all the Kisvay Hu-Ari and the books of the Zohar and Tikunim there is no one in the world to be found of his caliber. Because the whole Torah in its entirety was ready before him, fluent in his mouth, like a set table mamash, like something placed before the person before his eyes so that he could take for himself what he desires, similarly all the holy books were mamash set before the eyes of his holy intellect whenever he desired. And a bit of this can be seen and discerned in his holy books.

Na Nach Nachma Nachman Meuman!