WHAT MAKES A TRUE BRESLOVER

When I first read the chapter on obstacles in Rav Shimshon Barsky's commentary on "Likutei Eitzos", I remember getting really irritated. He begins with the following, "There are many mitzvos you want to do. You have a number of spiritual goals, like having more awe of Hashem."

I felt like saying (yelling, actually), "Well, don't tell me who I am and what I want! Right now I don't feel even a bit of what you're describing."

But as time when by, I realized, of course, that Rav Barsky was not lecturing me personally but rather describing what a true Breslover chassid was supposed to be like. So I felt more and more that I wanted to fall in line with his vision, to conquer my inner emptiness and get to the stage of true yearning. I still have a long way to go, but, baruch Hashem, now I do have a few spiritual goals that I really want to reach. And whenever I once again start feeling apathetic about them, I reread Rav Barsky's words and remind myself that I do want to be a true Breslover.

WHAT REALLY NOURISHES AND SUSTAINS US

Rav Shimshon Barsky writes in his explanation of Torah 19, "Foods and beverages sustain us because they contain vitality placed in them by Hashem. This vitality is called "Torah letters" because Hashem and the Torah are essentially one<...> It is this Divine vitality alone found in food and drink that nourishes a person when he eats and drinks."

This is a crucial thing to remember in this age of obsession with "healthy eating". Indeed, the Torah obligates us to make a reasonable effort to stay healthy, but we don't have to get fanatical about it, and we shouldn't think that eating healthy is always going to mean staying healthy. The reality is that only Hashem can make us healthy (or not, G-d forbid). It is He alone Who gives to food and drink the ability to nourish and sustain us, and what activates this ability is probably prayer.

I once read a very touching story about a contemporary Breslover chassidah that illustrates this point. She had a large family and very little money, so usually they all subsisted on bread, pasta, and potatoes. Of course, she understood that this wasn't enough, and so she supplemented this meager food with a lot of prayer, asking Hashem to keep her children healthy and happy. And so they were. But sometimes they were given a little tzedakah, and then the mother would run out happily to buy meat, fish, fruit, vegetables, and then prepare an elaborate and festive meal for her family. Yet on those days, she was so busy she forgot to pray for her children's health! And sure enough, they would wake up the following day with runny noses, achy joints, and in a very bad mood.

So, as the passuk says, "Man doesn't live by bread alone." What really gives us life is the Divine vitality in bread (or any other food). And if we regularly ask Hashem to place this life-giving energy into whatever food we have available, then we can always be both healthy and happy, regardless of what is on our plate.

HOW TO BECOME ONE WITH HASHEM

In Torah 21 Rabbeinu quotes the famous phrase from "Kuzari": "If I knew Him (Hashem), then I would be Him." The idea there is that it's impossible to truly know Hashem because otherwise we would actually be Hashem, and who can say that about themselves? Pretty depressing if you really think about it.

But Rabbeinu's motto is, "There is no despair in the world whatsoever!" So indeed, he understands this phrase from "Kuzari" quite differently: not as a statement of defeat, but as a very practical way to get out of all our lacks. 

Here is how he explains this: perfection belongs only to Hashem, and everything else in the world is lacking. So the way to reach perfection and to overcome all the lacks is to become encompassed in Hashem. And how does one actually do this? Through attaining daas - knowledge and awareness of Hashem, because if we get to know Him, we become part of Him! 

Of course, such level of awareness cannot be maintained constantly, but only in the manner of "running and returning". Still, I see in this a very good example of how the true tzaddik is different from everyone else: where others, no matter how wise they are, see a closed door, the tzaddik sees the way to go forward. And the main thing is that he can show us the way, too!

THE WAY TO SEE IF YOU'VE REACHED PERFECTION

These past few days, I've been practically mesmerized by the following sentence from the "Mai HaNachal" commentary on Torah 15 in "Likutei Moharan": "מי שהוא שקט ושאנן ושלוו - דעתו ומוחו בשלמות" ("If a person is tranquil, serene, and peaceful - their awareness of Hashem and their brain are in a state of perfection.")

For one thing, I'm fascinated by the description itself: oh, how I'd love to reach that state! But even more so, I think it's absolutely great that the main way to see if someone has reached a lofty spiritual state is by looking at their everyday behavior. One's spiritual attainments have to be visible on the outside, at least to some extent, otherwise they don't really count. And I think this is what Yiddishkeit in general and Chassidus in particular are all about.

THE GIFT OF DAAS

In Torah 8 Rabbeinu says that the way to fill all that one lacks is through deep sighing before Hashem, while in Torah 21 he reveals that the lacks are filled through attaining daas (knowledge and awareness of Hashem).

It occurred to me that these two pieces of advice are actually very close. After all, our main lack, whether we realize it or not, is that we don't feel Hashem's Presence in our life in the way that would give us comfort and peace. But, of course, Hashem knows this, so when we sigh before Him about our lacks, He helps us to draw down daas. And even if our actual situation doesn't change, or doesn't change immediately, it's we who change. Suddenly, we prefer living with Hashem to living with our fantasies about how life should be. This is the gift of daas. As our sages say, "If you have acquired daas, what can you possibly lack?"

Blossoms of the Spring - Letter 132

Letter 132[1]

To my beloved one who throws and rolls himself in slime and mud for the sake of the Point of Truth, Mr. Z. Shazar. God is with you, He will not forsake you or abandon you, do not fear and do not cower.

It is [incumbent] upon us to praise and say complete Hallel and the great Hallel in that specifically now in these days of ours, we have an extremely, extremely true, holy, and awesome Rebbe and Leader, which He is the medicine for all our wounds, be it as it may. And through Him, there already is hope for our destiny – even for the worst of the worst etc. Because, however much sicker the patient is, correspondingly he needs a greater doctor. And if only the world would merit in any event even now, to bask in His light, the world would have already come to its rectification in completeness.

God, blessed He, sends after us and calls us at all times and hints to us intimations to draw close to Him, blessed He; and one needs to delve and enlarge his mind in this in order to comprehend His hints, blessed He. And at times, a person becomes extremely aroused with a great arousal to attach and bind himself to the Tzaddik which in Him is contingent all the holiness of his Jewishness. It’s just that the Baal Dovor [Litigator / evil inclination / Satan] exceedingly challenges this until it causes that the person becomes estranged and banished from the holiness of his Judaism to a place of desolate desert – an extremely dangerous place; and it lays in ambush in order to catch him in its trap. And then, he can do something stupefying, and what in truth appears to be insanity, and there isn’t any human intellect that would concur with it – how would it be possible to attain such a thing. But nonetheless, because of his true arousal, God makes [everything] succeed through his hand, and he merits to cross over all the barriers and obstacles and to break them all until he merits to finish the matter in completeness.

The greatest wisdom from all the wisdoms is to not be a wise one whatsoever – [rather] just to be wholehearted and straight with simplicity. Even someone who truthfully possesses a great mind, he must cast away all the wisdoms and engage in His devotion, blessed He, with simplicity and wholeheartedness. And he has to even behave and do things which appear like madness in order to do His will, blessed He; for it is necessary to roll in all sorts of slime and mud for the sake of Gods’ service and commandments [Mitzvos] – and not specifically for the sake of an actual commandment, but rather, anything which contains in it the will of God, blessed He, is called a commandment. And one must roll himself in all sorts of mire and mud in order to do some will [and give] gratification to God, blessed He. And when his love is so strong to God, blessed He, he is then the aspect of an extremely dear and beloved son to God, blessed He. For there is an aspect of a son who searches through the treasuries of the King as would a son; and there is an aspect of a slave who has nothing except to do his service which was given to him, and he is prohibited from inquiring after any reason or analyzation regarding his service. But there is a son who loves his father so much so to the point that, as a result of the love he does the work of a slave – what a simple slave needs to do, and he goes and jumps inside the great siege-mounds, into the thick of the battle, and he rolls himself in all sorts of mud and mortar in order to please his father – which even a lowly slave wouldn’t have done such devotions. And then, when the father sees his love which is so fierce, to the extent that he throws himself into complete slavery for the sake of his love – he then reveals to him also that which isn’t conveyed even to a son, for there are places that even a son is forbidden from entering there. That is, there are conceptions which even the son doesn’t conceive; but through this that the son discards all his wisdom and throws himself into slavery, as mentioned above, through this his father has mercy upon him and reveals to him that which isn’t given over even to a son, and he lets him search in the treasuries of the King which are sequestered and hidden all the more so; until the aspect of, “A righteous one with bad fortune, a wicked one with good fortune” becomes revealed to him, and he merits to elevate the justice which fell to the abyss and to rectify it. For, he merits to perceive [why there is] “A righteous one with bad fortune, a wicked one with good fortune” – which this seems like a travesty of justice; and now when he merits to conceive and comprehend this – this is an aspect of rectification of the justice. By way of a Rebbe with students, all the aforementioned aspects are made and rectified.

When a person goes after his intellect and wisdom, he can fall into many mistakes and failures and come to the hands of great evil, God forbid, as many have already exceedingly faltered and fallen through their terrible intelligence, and they have sinned and caused the masses to sin, may the Merciful One save us. For the essential Judaism is to go with wholeheartedness and simplicity without any wisdoms, and to not pay any attention to his personal honor; just, if there is the honor of God, blessed He, in this, he should do it, and if not, [he should] not. Then, he will certainly never ever falter.

The whole essential rectification of the world depends in this that all the evil and distorted ways of wisdom shall be nullified from the world, which from them are also drawn all sorts of heresies and apostasies; and to become bound in truth to the True Tzaddik who is capable of rectifying everything – even in all the places, and all the matters that are transpiring with us.

It is forbidden to despair himself – [rather] just to quest after the holiness at all times. And even if it seems to him that in accordance with what he knows in his soul of the afflictions of his heart and his pains, it is extremely far-off that he will attain the holiness – nonetheless, he should do his [part] and search after it with all his strength. And even if it seems to him that also after the search for what is already many, many years, and he hasn’t yet found or attained any level of holiness whatsoever – even so, he should search more and more, until, if the person is steadfast in this in truth, all the days of his life, God, blessed He, has mercy on him, assists him, and helps him [in a way] completely transcending the way of nature and human intellect, until he merits to traverse over everything in peace and to finish the matter, to extract the holiness from the Klippos [lit. husks – evil forces].

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[1] Letter 16 contains much of this letter.

For more letters

מכתב קלב

 

לאהובי המשליך ומגלגל עצמו ברפש וטיט בשביל נקודת האמת מר ז.שזר ה" עמך לא יעזבך ולא יטשך אל תירא ואל תחת עלינו לשבח ולומר הלל שלם והלל הגדול שדייקא עכשיו בימינו אלה יש לנו רבי ומנהיג אמת קדוש ונורא מאד מאד שהוא הרפואה לכל מכותנו יהי' איך שיהיה ועל ידו יש כבר תקוה לאחריתנו אפילו להגרוע שבגרועים וכו'. כי כל מה שהחולה גדול ביותר צריך רופא גדול ביותר. ואלמלא זכו העולם עכ"פ גם עכשיו ליהנות מאורו כבר היה העולם בא לידי תיקונו בשלימות.

השי"ת שולח אחרינו וקורא אותנו בכל עת ומרמז לנו רמזים להתקרב אליו י"ת וצריך להעמיק ולהגדיל מחשבתו בזה להבין רמיזותיו י"ת. ולפעמים נתעורר האדם מאד בהתעוררת גדול להתדבק ולהתקשר להצדיק שבו תלוי כל קדושת יהדותו, רק שהבעל דבר מתגרה מאד בזה עד שגורם שנתרחק ונתגרש האדם מקדושת יהדותו למקום מדבר שממה מקום מסוכן מאד ואורב עליו לתופסו במצודתו ואז יכול לעשות דבר מבוהל ומה שנראה באמת לשגעון, ואין שום שכל אדם שיסכים לזה איך שיוכל להשיג דבר זה, אך אעפ"כ מחמת ההתעוררת אמתי שלו ה" מצליח בידו וזוכה לעבור על כל הגדרים והמניעות ולשבר את כולם עד שזוכה לגמור הדבר בשלימות.

החכמה הגדולה שבכל החכמות לבלי להיות חכם כלל, רק להיות תם וישר בפשיטות אפילו מי שיש לו מח גדול באמת צריך להשליך כל החכמות ולעסוק בעבודתו י"ת בפשיטות ובתמימות, וצריך אפילו להתנהג ולעשות דברים הנראין כשגעון כדי לעשות רצונו י"ת, כי צריכין להתגלגל בכל מיני רפש וטיט בשביל עבודת ה" ומצותיו, ולאו דוקא בשביל מצוה ממש אלא כל דבר שיש בו רצון השי"ת נקרא מצוה. וצריך לגלגל עצמו בכל מיני רפש וטיט כדי לעשות איזה רצון ונחת להש"י. וכשאהבתו חזקה כל כך להש"י אז הוא בחינת בן יקיר וחביב מאד להשי"ת, כי יש בחינת בן שהוא מחפש בגנזיא דמלכא כמו בן, ויש בחינת עבד שאין לו רק לעשות עבודתו שנתנו לו ואסור לו לשאול שום טעם וחקירה על עבודתו. אבל יש בן שהוא אוהב כל כך את אביו עד שמחמת האהבה הוא עושה מעשה עבד מה שעבד פשוט צריך לעשות, והולך וקופץ בתוך הסוללות הגדולה בתוך קשרי המלחמה ומגלגל עצמו בכל מיני רפש וטיט כדי לעשות נחת רוח לאביו מה שאפילו עבד פשוט לא היה עושה עבודות כאלו ואז כשאביו רואה אהבתו החזקה כל כך עד שמשליך עצמו לעבדות גמור בשביל אהבתו אזי הוא מגלה לו גם מה שאין נמסר אפילו לבן כי יש מקומות שגם הבן אסור ליכנס לשם, היינו שיש השגות שגם הבן אינו משיג אותם אבל ע"י שהבן מסלק כל חכמתו ומשליך עצמו לעבדות כנ"ל עי"ז אביו מרחם עליו ומגלה לו מה שאין נמסר אפילו לבן, ומניחו לחפש בגנזיא דמלכא הגנוזים וצפונים ביותר, עד שזוכה שנתגלה לו בחינת צדיק ורע לו רשע וטוב לו, וזוכה להעלות המשפט שנפל עד התהום ולתקנו, כי זוכה להשיג צדיק ורע לו רשע וטוב לו, שזה נראה כעוות המשפט ועכשיו כשזוכה להשיג ולהבין זאת זה בחינת תיקון המשפט, ע"י רבי אמת עם תלמידים נעשין ונתתקנין כל הבחי' הנ"ל .

כשאדם הולך אחר שכלו וחכמתו יוכל ליפול בטעותים ומכשולות רבים ולבא לידי רעות גדולות ח"ו, כאשר כבר רבים נכשלו ונפלו מאד ע"י חכמתם הרעה וחטאו והחטיאו את הרבים רח"ל כי עיקר היהדות הוא לילך בתמימות ובפשיטות בלי שום חכמות, ולבלי להשגיח כלל על כבוד עצמו רק אם יש בזה כבוד השי"ת יעשה ואם לאו לא, אז בודאי לא יכשל לעולם: כל עיקר תיקון העולם תלוי בזה שיתבטלו מן העולם כל דרכי החכמות הרעות והמשובשות שמהם נמשכים גם כן כל מיני כפירות ואפיקורסת, ולהתקשר באמת אל הצדיק האמת שיכול לתקן הכל אפילו בכל המקומות ובכל הענינים העוברים עלינו.

אסור לייאש עצמו רק לחפש אחר הקדושה בכל עת, ואפילו אם נדמה לו שכפי מה שיודע בנפשו נגעי לבבו ומכאוביו רחוק מאד שישיג את הקדושה אעפ"כ הוא יעשה את שלו ויחפש אחריה בכל כחו. ואפילו אם נדמה לו שגם אחר החיפוש זה כמה וכמה שנים ולא מצא עדיין ולא השיג עדיין שום מדריגת הקדושה כלל, אעפ"כ יחפש עוד ועוד עד שאם האדם חזק בזה באמת כל ימי חייו השי"ת מרחם עליו ומסייע ועוזר לו למעלה מדרך הטבע ושכל אנושי לגמרי עד שזוכה לעבור על הכל בשלום ולגמור הדבר להוציא הקדושה מהקליפות

DESIRE MEANS CLOSENESS

Today I came upon the following sentence in "Likutei Tefilos" on Torah 21: "I know that at present I'm so far from this that I can't even ask You and plead with You to help me."

This reminded me of a very reassuring idea: if I can  pray about something spiritual, if I can want it, then I'm already close to it, even if now it seems almost unattainable. Unfortunately, this doesn't work with physical things: my imagination can trick me and make me desire a lot of things that really have nothing to do with me. But in spirituality, if I want something and ask Hashem regularly about it, then I'm already half-way there.