Likutay Moharan - Volume 2 - Torah-teaching 117

What Confuses a Person When He Enters a High Holiness

What confuses a person when he enters a high holiness, such as when he draws close to a true tzadik [righteous one] or the like, is that specifically then an impure event [mikreh bilti tahor], Heaven forbid, happens to him. It has already been explained elsewhere [that when a person enters holiness, the evil inclination strengthens against him more, for the more one enters holiness, each time he has a new, greater evil inclination than at first, see Likutay Moharan I:72 and elsewhere]. And in truth, this confusion is folly, for what of it? If it happens to him because of a thought, who is to blame for this? And he should not complain at all, since he himself caused it. And if it is not because of a thought, then certainly it is not a bad sign at all, for if it were a bad matter, our Sages, of blessed memory, would not have given it as a good sign for a sick person, as our Sages, of blessed memory, said: "An emission is a good sign for a sick person" [Berachos 57b]. And in truth, on the contrary, because he drew close to a very high holiness, because of this it happened to him. For whoever justifies himself below, they justify the judgment upon him above, as it is said: "And as your fear, so is your wrath" [Psalms 90:11], as our Sages, of blessed memory, said [Taanis 8a]. It turns out that when a person justifies himself and enters holiness, they scrutinize him more, and accusations and judgments are aroused against him, Heaven forbid. And from the chain of judgments, the evil inclination is created [as brought elsewhere in Likutay Moharan I:72, as above]. Therefore, he should not complain at all about this, for on the contrary, because he entered such a high holiness, because of this the evil inclination was aroused against him, from the chain of judgments, as above. And therefore, our Sages, of blessed memory, considered it a great miracle that an emission did not happen to the High Priest on Yom Kippur, as our Sages, of blessed memory, said [Avos, chapter 5]. For because the High Priest on Yom Kippur entered such a high holiness, into the Holy of Holies, certainly there were many accusations and arousals against him, from which the evil inclination is drawn, as above. Therefore, it was considered a miracle that the High Priest was saved from an emission on Yom Kippur. And now, see and understand how this matter confuses a person, and whether he should complain that he did not have a miracle like the High Priest on Yom Kippur. Also, know that sometimes there is hidden impurity in a person for which no repair is known, because it is hidden and concealed in him. And therefore, it is a benefit that it happened to him when he draws close to holiness, for then the aforementioned hidden impurity comes out from him. For then, when it comes out, one can find a repair for it, which was not so before when it was hidden, as above. And because of this, Abraham did not beget Isaac until he first begot Ishmael, and so Isaac begot Esau and afterward Jacob, in order to bring out the filth first, as brought.