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Likutay Tifeeloas 52
Collection of
Prayers #52
“My soul yearns
for You at night, even my spirit inside of me, I shall seek You out[1]
(Isaiah 26:9).” “I remembered at night Your name Hashem and I will guard/adhere
to Your Torah (Psalms 119:55).” “On my bed in the nights I sought my soul’s
love, I sought Him out but did not find Him (Song of Songs 3:1).” “I remember
my melody at night, I converse with my heart, and my spirit quests (Psalms
77:7).” Master of the Universe, Master of the Entire World, Master of
Everything, One, Solitary, and Unique; was, is, and will be, You created Your
world with Your good will, for Israel Your holy nation, for whom You created
all the worlds (all of them), in order to draw the souls of Israel into the
world, so that they do Your will in truth and have dominion in the world, in
order for them to be able, by means of their good actions to raise and lift all
the worlds (all of them), from the apex of “Asseyuh” (-the lowest world of
“doing”) till the beginning of the “Atzeeloos” (-highest world of “Emanation”),
to raise and to elevated all of them to their supernal root, so that all the
worlds (all of them) will be included in Your underlying unity[2]
blessed and exalted for ever and all eternity, because “it You before You
created the world, and it is You after You created the world.[3]”
So on account of this, may there
be will before You Hashem our G-d and the G-d of our fathers, that You have
mercy on me, and be to my succor, and merit me to abound in hisbodidus always
until I merit through the hisbodidus to nullify myself completely, until my
entity is completely nullified, and I will be truly included in Your unity. And
merit me in Your abundant mercies, and make available to me a designated place
and a designated time for hisbodidus, and I should merit to chose for myself
the choice place and the prime time for hisbodidus, which is at night when
people are asleep, and on a lone path, that I should merit every single night
to do hisbodidus in a designated place, to go on a lone path in a place where
people don’t go even in the day, and I will go there and do hisbodidus at
night, and express all my words (-what is on my mind) before You, and all that
is upon my heart[4] I
shall merit to explain and express before You fully verbalized explicitly,
until my heart really arouses to You with great passion, and with great and
overwhelming crying, with loads[5]
of tears, to cry and to confess over my many sins and (willful) transgressions,
and to have remorse over them truly and with a complete heart, and to accept
upon myself an absolute commitment with a truly complete heart that I will not
return again to fallacy, and there will not be in my spirit any deceit
whatsoever, “If I have done iniquity I will not continue (Job 34:32, Rashi).”[6]
And I should merit to arouse You abundant mercies on me, that You should
graciously gift me from Yourself gratuitously, and be to my succor from now
(on) always, and guard me and save me with Your mercies from transgressions,
and sins, and (willful) wrongdoing, and from all the bad desires. And
particularly from defection of the bris (-covenant, circumcision) which is the general
precept of the whole entire Torah, save me and guard me always with Your
abundant mercies, with Your great mercies, with Your enormous mercies, until I
merit through the hisbodidus at night to nullify myself completely, to nullify
every single bad trait, and every single bad desire, until I will be completely
clean of all the desires and of all the bad traits, and I will merit to nullify all types of haughtiness, and arrogance,
and conceit from myself, until I merit to come to the true real apex of
nullification as is Your good will, until I merit to be truly included in Your
unity. And through this the entire world will be included with my soul in Your
underlying unity (“achdoos hapashoot”), and the “after the
creation” will become one and will be included with the “before the creation,”
the “contingents of existence (‘efshuray hamitzeyoos’)” with the “imperative
of existence (‘cheyoov hamitzeyoos’).” And we will be truly bonded,
and united, and included in You always, and we will not separate from You even
for a split second, and Your underlying (/simple/encompassing/absolute) unity (‘achdoos
hapashoot’) will be revealed in the world, “and everything that has been
made will know that You made him, and everything that was created/formed will
understand that You created/formed him, and everyone who has a neshama (-soul,
also related to the word nesheema - breath) in his nose will say, ‘Hashem, the
G-d of Israel is King, and His Kingdom has dominion over everything (-Shmoaneh
Esray prayer of the High Holidays).” Help me, help me, be gracious to me, be
gracious to me, to abound in hisbodidus and in conversing between me and my
Maker at night on a lone path, until I merit to the true apex of nullification,
until I will be truly included in You with all worlds (all of them), and we
will all return to you truly and with complete heart, “and we will know (/how)
to pursue to know Hashem (Hosea 6:3),” by day we will not rest, at night we
will not desist, until we merit to find You at all times.
And we should merit to truly
fulfill the mitzva of “ooboa <and in Him> seedbuk <you should
cling/bond> (Deuteronomy 10:20),” completely, as is Your good desire. Have
mercy and compassion on us, have mercy and compassion on us, have mercy and be
gracious to us, and merit us to all that we have requested from before You,
that we merit to truly nullify ourselves until we are all included in You
Hashem our G-d and the G-d of our fathers, because for this alone You created
all the worlds (all of them), as You revealed to us through Your true tzadikim.
“Return to us Hashem[7]
and annul Your anger with us (Psalms 85:5).” Hashem “G-d of Hosts bring us back
[and] radiate Your countenance and we will be saved (Psalms 80:8).” “Bring me
back and I will return because You are [Hashem] my G-d (Jeremiah 31:17).” “Bring
us back Hashem to You and we will return, renew our days as of yore
(Lamentations 5:21).” “Yihi-yoo lirutzoan <may they be pleasing – arousing the
Divine Will> imray fee <the words of my mouth> vihegyoan leebee
<and the expressions of my heart> lifunechuh <before You> Hashem
tzooree <my Rock/Maker> vigoa-allee <and my Redeemer> (Psalms
19:15).”
Na Nach Nachma Nachman MayUman!
[1] The
Zohar points out various inconsistencies in the grammar of this verse and
offers a few different awesome alternative interpretations. According to one
interpretation, “My soul” is referring to HY, “My Soul! I yearn for you….”
[2] “Achdoos
hapashoot” – simple unity, meaning absolute unity without any conditions,
contingencies and so forth. “Pashut” can also mean spread out, i.e. all
encompassing unity.
[3]
Beginning of the Morning Prayers.
[4]
Joshua 14:7 – literally “with my heart,” that is to speak frankly and
forthright, there the verse is referring to a specific matter and the phrase is
more like an adverb, here it used to refer to the general matters themselves,
the concerns of one’s heart.
[5] A
“shleesh” – a large measure, see Isaiah 40:12.
[6]
Rabbi Nussun enumerated the 4 compulsory components of repentance, see Rambam,
Laws of Teshuva 2:2. However the Rambam gives a different order: 1. To
forsake/quit the sin. 2. Resolution for the future. 3. Remorse. 4. Confession.
And see the beginning of Rabbainu Yona’s Shaaray Teshuva – Gates of Repentance,
article 11, brings a verse wish lists the first step as Confession, and he
elucidates that for a sinner the first and most challenging step must be to
forsake the sinning, but for someone who just fell and sinned, his first step
is to have remorse – which goes together with Confession. Rabbi Nussun however
is setting in this prayer that the person really sees himself as a sinner, in
which case even according to Rabbainu Yona the first step isn’t the Confession.
Rabbi Nussun is probably basing himself on the fundamental teachings of
Rabbainu which reveal that the main repentance is completely contingent on the
Confession before the tzadik (see Likutay Moharan 4 and elsewhere), whereupon
the Tzadik will give him specific guidance according to his specific soul-root.
[7] Rashi
renders this: Return Hashem and return us (to You).
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