Reb Nanach with a bananach in his ear

 

Seventy nations at war in the bathroom

 HH Rabbainu revealed that every person includes in himself all the 70 nations, and because many of them are at war with each other, therefore a person doesn't have inner peace, and when he is alone and all these forces are at work undiluted, it could cause him to go mad R"L. That is why before one prays and attempts to bring world peace, peace being the Name of HY a holiness that most nations aren't preparing themselves for, first one must merit to inner peace, and from that root point of strength he can proceed to pray for the peace to prevail in the world.                                                                                                              

So there was a rabbi who decided to address the war issue when he was doing his business in the bathroom. From outside they heard and smelled all types of exclamations: Take that Ukraine, up ... russia, that will silence you, and so forth and so on, for quite some time. Then there was a flush, and water started to seep out of the bathroom. Someone shouted at the rabbi, hey what's going on? The rabbi replied, the war has spilled over....                                                                                                 

May HY save us from the wars and the rabbis. NNNNM

HH Is it tzaar baalay chaim (infringement of causing pain to animals) to feed a cat cholent which has been sitting out for four days?

Oy vey humor - see if you get it at least

HH
Why did the Breslover buy the Brooklyn bridge?

He thought he was buying the whole entire world...

Case in Point - Reward for going to a wedding to be saved from all allegations or rather....

HH Last night after the amazing joyous wedding of Yisroel Blumenthal some Nekuda Tova guys did me a big favor taking me most of the way home, may HY bless them. As it worked out I sat in front, so I couldn't hear exactly who gets the credit for this extremely intelligent and lucid disclaimer I overheard, but it is something we can all learn from, so I will share it here anonymously, and all the credit will go to Na Nach Nachma Nachman MeUman.
Bear in mind what the Talmud says (Brachos 6b):

אמר רב אשי אגרא דבי הלולי מילי:
The rewards of going to a wedding are WORDS!

This is what he said and what he didn't say:
He did not say that he will not concede to the allegations, what he said was that he will not concede to the alligators.

Mazal Tov!
Na Nach Nachma Nachman MeUman!

Wake up Nanach!

HH this guy made a loud open protest against me this morning at prayers: "What is this - waking me up 2 o'clock in the morning screaming: Who knows one?'...."
He gave the giggles even as I write this.... (poor soul he believes in false messiahs and rabbis).